Perhaps it's the gloomy weather. Perhaps it's the fact that I got no work done at all this weekend. No papers graded. No class prep done. All I did was worry and sleep. I have to get ready to go to Big Rapids shortly, and I don't want to do it. I want to crawl back into bed and sleep. Make the world go away.
We talked to our younger son for a very short while yesterday. It's hard to talk to him on the phone (or face to face, for that matter). He seems to think he needs to move out of his brother's apartment. I talked with my husband for a long time yesterday about what we can or should do. He's pretty much said that we can't afford to relocate down to Arkansas. My student loan debt actually INCREASED last year, despite our paying $7000 toward it. I know he thinks it's a lot of money wasted for me to live in Big Rapids during the week, paying that extra $500 a month for the apartment and buying separate groceries, etc. Sometimes I wish I had not let pride get in the way of my accepting an instructorship at GVSU. I'd be teaching 3/3 with no expectations of publications or committee work, but I'd also be making about $10K less a year. Obviously, the fact that I'm spending $6K a year on the apartment, plus groceries, probably makes it come out closer than it looks on paper.
I feel like my niece Tassina today. She too is dealing with a lot of decisions for her future. Sometimes I think it would be great to be her age again, to get a "do over" for so many of the things that went wrong. One thing my husband said yesterday was that if he had known that our younger son would not be moving with us to Michigan, he might not have taken the job up here.
What to do, what to do....
1 comment:
Dear Dr Robideaux,
I'm sorry you and your family have had such a rough of a time lately, and I know just what you mean about student loans!
I just thought I'd write to you and let you know that as the new semester has begun at my University, I am living 3 hours away from my home town in a new flat with some great friends, and I am looking for a part time job for while I study.
Things have been much better since I contacted you. Getting your reply really touched me, and gave me the strength I needed to talk to my father about my mother. He has been in denial about it all for nearly 20 years, and when I saw him we both cried, and talked about everything, including what your book has done for me. He too has bought a copy, and today I got a call from my mother in tears telling me she wanted me back in her life, and that she was starting a rehab program this week. I know not to get my hopes up as I've heard this before, but this time feels different. Her councillor knew your book when Mother told her about me reading it, and told her that while it is going to be very hard for her, she should definately read it as well. I told her I didnt want her to die, and she has promised to do her best in the program, so hopefully this means things are finally changing. I will not put all my eggs in one basket, though.
Again, I want to extend my thanks to you. This whole experience is having such a strong impact on me, and my family.
I wish you and your family the best, and that things get better soon. I hear the winter over there is pretty hard going!
yours sincerely,
Amelia Chilton :)
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