I have the flu

Fever, body aches, coughing, stuff tasting and smelling funny. Oh, joy. Esteemed Spouse called the doctor's office and had them do a prescription for Tamiflu, which I'm taking. I do feel a bit better today, but yesterday was not so good. Last night I had constant sweating and bouts of chills, but less coughing. At one point my nightgown was wet with sweat.

I haven't decided what to do about driving up to Big Rapids tomorrow. I'm playing it by ear.

A short while ago, our back yard was full of Canadian geese, and across the pond, about a dozen huge turkeys were walking around. Thanksgiving is coming, guys. Better go hide.

For all his kindness during my illness, Esteemed Spouse still went ahead with his plans to paint the doors. Inside doors. With the wrong paint. I asked him what kind of paint he was using (after he'd complained about how lousy it was looking) and he told me it was latex satin finish. He had criticized the enamel finish on the previous paint job, which I thought was strange since most people know that enamel paint is desirable on surfaces which are touched often, like doors. Then he fussed because I hadn't gone with him to buy the paint, and how was he supposed to know which kind, yada yada. Excuse me. I have the flu. And if the door HAD to be painted this weekend because the weather is good, why the hell didn't he start on the one new outside door instead of the two inside doors? (The front door is an outside door, but he's painting only the inside surface of it, not the part that gets the weather.) It could be snow and ice outside and you can do inside painting. Geez.

He always gets angry with me when I get sick. It's weird. He alternates between tender loving care and yelling at me. (Well, not yelling, but fussing.) Why do I suspect that he got the Tamiflu prescription for me more as a way of getting me well before he caught the flu from me? What's odd is that in all the years I've known him, he's had lots of colds, lots of sinus infections, lots of other illnesses, but I've never known him to actually have the flu. He swears he has, but he's one of these people who think flu = stomach upset and diarrhea. Nope. That's not the flu.

I saw on CNN that a pet cat had gotten H1N1. I hope Simon doesn't get sick. He's old. It would not be a good thing.

I'm sticking with my plans to maintain silence with my siblings, at least the ones in Jena. The only time they acknowledge that I exist is when they need something (money) from me. Why should I continue to be their patsy when all I get in return is verbal abuse and disrespect? Is it too much to expect some small degree of gratitude for the times I've saved their asses? I've lent (i.e., given) money to all of them except Curtis, and he lived with me (rent free) for months when he first got out of the army, so I think I've done my bit for him, too. After Ellie and I wrote and published My Mama's Waltz, I gave each of them a part of the profits. I'm done feeling guilty because their lives are crappy. At some point people have to take credit for their own decisions. I decided to get an education. They decided to stick their heads up their butts.

I need a shower after all that sweating, but I'm dreading getting into the water since it will make me hurt and feel chilled. But it must be done.