Patronizing people

I have a colleague who will remain nameless and genderless, though most people might assume that the word "patronizing" refers to males. In this particular instance, this colleague does not exude strong gender vibes anyway, so maybe it's especially irrelevant not to mention gender. It is irrelevant to the personality type, for sure. Therefore, I will call this person "Pat."

Anyway, Pat enjoys being needed. I get that. I'm the same way. I love for others to rely upon me for comfort and nurturing. Pat enjoys being a problem-solver, and many of us in the department are grateful for Pat's assistance. Pat is actually quite likable and sweet. Intelligent. Competent. Because Pat has adopted the role of being the departmental problem-solver, however, an ego issue has arisen. Pat handles disagreements by becoming very condescending to anyone who offers a different point of view. I had noticed this trait in Pat before, and in fact, others had noticed it, too. "If you don't share my point of view--and, in fact, if you don't praise me for my wit and superior intelligence for having this point of view--then not only are you wrong, but you are pathetically dim-witted and inferior, as well." Of course those are not the actual words that Pat uses, but the attitude comes across loud and clear. Pat becomes impatient and dismissive toward anyone who questions the wisdom that s/he offers. Pat's interpretation of something is always the only correct interpretation.

Because Pat is a highly influential person in my department, I do not want to cause waves. Still, I will be 60 years old soon. My terminal degree is as prestigious as Pat's is. Pat is only slightly older than I am, so we are contemporaries. I'm a member of Mensa, so surely that counts as proof that I'm not stupid. But I don't have tenure, so I don't make waves with people who can keep me from getting tenure. (I honestly don't care if I don't get tenure, but my husband would be extremely unhappy.)

I know that many people would argue that I myself am much like Pat. I can be dismissive toward some people, but never toward colleagues. I think it's tactless and impolitic to treat colleagues in such a manner. But maybe that's not how others see me. Who knows.