Wrinkles

There's a cartoon I read regularly that has an elderly couple as its focus. He's balding, they both wear glasses that in the Little Orphan Annie fashion obscure their eyes, and their world is often shown as part of their grandson's vision. Recently the grandfather showed his grandson that he could hold a dime in the wrinkles on his forehead. Then he showed him that he could make the dime disappear in the folds on his stomach. The grandmother has similar bouts of commentary upon her aging body and its limits. Just today she couldn't find her glasses because she didn't have her glasses on. She couldn't see well enough.

As I age, I certainly can relate to this elderly couple. Recently I coughed up a bunch of money for one of the new miracle "age erasing" products. Have you noticed that they never say that they're going to make the wrinkles disappear, that instead, the appearance of the wrinkles will be less obvious? Truth in advertising certainly does conjure up some strange wording. I've been using my miracle product for about a week now, and I don't feel that my skin looks younger, but there's always tomorrow.

I honestly don't mind having the usual wrinkles that speak of age, experience, wisdom, and a life lived. What I mind are the tiny little wrinkles around my lips that make me look as if I'm a smoker, which I'm not. I mind even more the uneven appearance of my skin. It's rough and discolored in spots. Didn't I suffer enough when I was pregnant with those strange skin discolorations? Why can't I get the old-lady skin that I remember my grandmother having? It was wrinkly, yes, but it felt soft and well-worn, like favorite bed sheets.

There's another product for skin out there that promises to fill in and smooth out, rather like spackle. I wonder if it comes with a tiny little trowel and some fine-grit sandpaper.

Wrinkles are on my mind today since I finally used the steamer I'd purchased some weeks ago to get the wrinkles out of the new drapes in the bedroom. Slow going. It takes forever to heat up enough to make steam, and then the nozzle has to be pressed against the fabric for a few moments in order for enough steam to be released to relax the wrinkle. Maybe I should try it out on my skin. :-) No, not really.

When I was younger, it was the height of sloth to wear any garment that had wrinkles. I was a master of starch and steam. These days, garments come to us pre-wrinkled. Along with the hair styles that look as if the wearer has not washed or brushed his/her hair in weeks, the clothes now look already slept in. While I am no fan of the ironing board, I also am no fan of wrinkly clothing or bedhead hair.

The only thing that looks right covered with wrinkles is a really old face or a Chinese dog. I am neither dog nor really old. Therefore, next time I'm at the drugstore, I'm getting the face spackle. I just hope the trowel and sandpaper don't cost extra.