Eyebrows

Lately I've been noticing people's eyebrows. Why in the world do some women shave off their eyebrows, only to draw on the most impossible and ridiculous shapes ever conceived? They look like clowns. I'm sure my eyebrows are considered far too thick and hairy and wild, but at least they look like normal eyebrows and not like some half-drunken idiot conceived of them.

We had lunch today at Arnie's, and I also saw a lot of women who were heavy but who were wearing super-short miniskirts and high heels. Fat white legs are fat white legs. They don't look longer, thinner, or tanner if you wear a miniskirt and high heels. In fact, you just look awkward and clumsy, and still fat.

I know that Burns said it best: If we could see ourselves as others see us.... I'm sure other people comment negatively on my thin flat hair, but I refuse to tease and spray it or wear some sort of "BUMP IT" device (like that hideous girl on the insurance commercial). I also refuse to have the salon "do" my eyebrows. Clearly, doing it myself is the cheaper and more natural-looking option.

One of my former students commented on Facebook that there was NEVER a reason to wear blue eyeshadow. Sometimes I wear blue eyeshadow. Not much. Just a trace along the lid. All rules are meant to be bent, if not broken. I accept this. But having one's eyebrows drawn on to resemble Bozo the Clown's eyebrows.... well, that's not a good plan, ladies. Not now. Not ever.