Another school shooting

Yesterday about 4 p.m., another college (Northern Illinois University in DeKalb) had a (former) student go on a shooting rampage, killing several students before turning the gun on himself. Word is that he'd "gone off his meds." He was no longer at this school, apparently, having transferred to another one (Champagne-Urbana), but returned to this one to do his killing. As bad as it sounds, I'm glad he didn't kill people at the new school because I have friends who teach there. I may know someone who teaches at the one the guy shot up, but I don't think I do.

One of these days, gun control will become the reality it should have been for a hundred years. We don't need guns. It's too easy to kill people with guns. This guy stood on a stage in one of those huge auditorium classes and picked people off like fish in a barrel. I'm one of those students who always sits near the front, so if I had been there, it's likely I would have been one of the ones shot. Not that the man shot only the front-row students--I don't know. Reporters interviewed a young woman on the back row who had arrived late to class, and she was fine, having had a relatively easy exit. It just seems logical that the way these classes are lit, with most of the light on the stage, he would have aimed at people he could see.

I'm trying to get geared up for the interview. Of course, the weather is not cooperating. We've got an ice storm coming in through the area on Sunday, the day I'm supposed to check in to the B & B. It would be nice if the forecast was incorrect, but it won't be. If anything, lately the weather has been worse than the forecast has predicted. At least driving to Big Rapids and back yesterday wasn't bad. After I got out of the night class, though, the snow had started back pretty thickly. At one point I had to stop for a red light on a street that has an incline. When the light turned green, I did a little spinning and fishtailing before finally getting traction.

Re the upcoming interview: I hope this isn't another exercise in futility. One of the other candidates is also an in-house candidate. She's been there longer, her office is on the 3rd floor where the department is located, she's already been running the local segment of the National Writers' Project, and she's likely to have lots of friends in the department who will advocate for her. I'm telling myself these things now, getting prepared for what has been such an inevitable occurrence for me for the last several years--going all-out for an interview, spending lots of money and time getting ready, only to be told that someone else (usually someone younger and sexier) got the job. So I'm not going to be surprised if this other candidate gets the nod. Of course, they could opt for the outside candidate so they won't have to choose between two in-house people. Who knows. I've given up trying to understand the process. It's always claimed that it's "fair and open." It never is. Certainly, it's never "open." As much as possible, the folks who run the show are going to be secretive, manipulative, and even deceitful. The process makes them behave that way. There are legal reasons for not saying this or that, of course, but honesty would be so refreshing. I'd rather be told coming in that I was the underdog or dark horse (name your beast) because of whatever reason. As it is, I know in my heart of hearts that my age, size, and Southern accent are held against me. It won't matter how well I teach the class. It won't matter that there are books with my name on the cover. All that will matter is that I talk and walk slowly and don't cause flutters in anyone's pants. No, I'm certainly not eye candy. If I were to be equated to food of any sort, it wouldn't be dessert--it would be last night's leftover stew.

But of course, I can't treat the interview as a foregone conclusion either way. If I don't prepare enough, then they'd have every reason to hire someone else. If I prepare exceptionally well, they'll have to look harder for a reason to hire another person--but they'll find one. Trust me. They will find a reason. They always do. When schools get to hire me as a temporary employee, they act like I'm the best thing that ever happened to them. But I'm never quite good enough to be tenure-track.

Even believing all this, I will still do my best. I will be charming, eloquent, knowledgeable, and competent. I just won't be thin, young, or sexy. I won't sound like a Michigander. And therein lies the rub. Dr. S.