Thinking Backwards

Sept. 22, 2007: This concept of the latest blog being the first one read is somewhat unsettling to someone who expects to read linearly, like reading a book. In a way, it's comparable to reading a book by reading the last chapter first. It feels like riding in the rear-facing backseat of a station wagon. Unsettling. Of course, to someone who loves mysteries and detective fiction, I ought to think of it as an exercise in inductive reasoning.

I wish I had more time to write. I'm working on a short story that I'll be submitting to my Writers' Group in a couple of weeks, and that's a joy, but this aggravation with petty bureaucrats at my current workplace--that's ripping all the joy out of what has always been a labor of love for me--teaching students to write. It blows my mind that I am being treated as if I'm a kindergarten dropout without the sense (as my mother would have phrased it) to "pour piss out of a boot." Never could figure out how the piss got into the boot, other than the obvious, which sounds even dumber than not knowing how to pour it out.

That's always been the thing I've hated most--being underestimated, being thought less intelligent. I've gotten used to not being "pretty" (after five-plus decades, I ought to!). But I've always been "top of the class" and I have always been able to count on my ability to figure things out. Thus, when others treat me as if they think I'm dumb, incompetent, a goof-off, that really angers me. Especially when said others are simply cocky young things who happen to have a position that allows them to make others' lives miserable. I refer, of course, to ML, who has been systematically undercutting all my attempts to get my online courses online. She's lazy yet somehow cons her bosses into thinking she's something wonderful. Well, I could go on and on. It kept me awake last night, wishing I had the gumption to email her and tell her what I think of her. Sadly, as an "adjunct" (and how I could go on and on about that!), I have neither power nor prestige. She is "staff" (which means she doesn't have much education on her side, but she does get to manipulate the buttons that affect the rest of us), and she's loud, aggressive, and bullish. In other words, she's got people thinking she knows what she's doing. But she doesn't.

Okay, enough whining. There's work to be done.
Onward! Dr. S.