Though yesterday was cool and windy, the sun was shining, so my Esteemed Spouse and I got out for some window shopping. We've got to decide what to do about furniture. With my brother and his wife, and possibly their daughter, arriving in two months, and my studio apartment becoming available for me to move into it in one month, we've got to fix it so that we can have a place for everyone to sleep at night and sit during the day. If my husband had his way, we'd sell everything and start from scratch (and I do mean "scratch"!). The only thing he likes is our leather sofa, and only part of that. He loves the tv, of course, and he likes our bed, but for someone who doesn't blink at spending money for computers and similar electronics, he's a tightwad about furniture.
What I want in the guest bedroom is two twin beds with a trundle under one and storage space under the other. He was appalled. After all, he can't imagine why guests in our home should be comfortable and made to feel welcome. On one hand, he has a point. We almost never have guests. On the other, we do have a huge house, and we will be having other guests now and then, and we can't rent something for each time we have a guest. He suggested a blow-up mattress. Oh, yeah, I can just see my brother (a heart-attack survivor) feeling welcome on a blow-up mattress. No way. I haven't seen my brother in sixteen years. Even if I have to sleep on the sofa and let my brother and his wife have our king-sized bed, my brother will be made welcome in my home.
My husband wants to sell our Queen Anne dining table and six matching chairs. We don't use it, I admit. However, unless he is willing to get another (smaller) dining table to put in the dining room, there is no way I'm going to sell the dining table and chairs. I think he just sincerely dislikes the cherry finish Queen Anne. If so, that's too bad. We have a lot of it, and I'm not going to strip the house of all its furniture unless he's willing to replace that furniture. That's where we differ. He'd be quite happy in some empty barn, as long as that barn had a tv set and a place for him to sit and put his feet up.
It sounds like we're quarreling, and really, we aren't. I just wish our money priorities were more similar. I don't ask for expensive, high-end furniture, but I won't be content with buy-it-in-a-box stuff that looks cheap and doesn't last long. After all, we are talking about a man who pays over $50 for a pair of pants ON SALE. Just let the fabric get a bit shiny, a button fall off, or a thread get loose, and it's off to Goodwill with his clothing. He buys high-end computers and high-end automobiles. He makes a high-end salary. But he'll go for weeks without having his hair trimmed and fuss if he has to pay more than ten bucks to get it cut. His clothes are posh, but he still looks like a bum if his hair is curling over his ears and collar in wispy tufts. (It reminds me too much of a faculty member at FSU whom no one likes. He's a shrimpy little guy with a short thready ponytail. He doesn't look cool, though I'm sure he thinks he does. He just looks pathetic.)
I have no doubt that some reasonable solution will be found to our furniture situation. The issue is this, though: will we compromise the way we usually do, which means Spouse wins and I lose, simply because I tire of his passive-aggressive manipulations and just give in? Or will I hold my own and get what I want and believe we need? Spouse always has "logic" on his side, or so he thinks, but it is not logical to have this big house (which is the house he wanted more than I did) if the rooms stand empty and hollow. Wow. I am sounding so grumpy. Must be the change in weather. The barometer is dropping, and snow is on its way. I just want to sleep sixteen hours a day when the weather gets bad.
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