Holiday unhappiness

It's been a crazy few weeks. Esteemed Spouse loved his birthday gift of a flying lesson. He even teared up a bit.

We finished the semester and finished buying/wrapping gifts. Then we drove to Fayetteville, Arkansas, to spend the holiday with our two sons and daughter-in-law. Most of the visit was good, until the morning we were to leave, when my older son verbally attacked me for my "aggressive atheism." Apparently, he is of the opinion that since his wife is a sort-of Christian, it is rude of me to be an atheist, or at least to say I'm an atheist, in their home on Christmas. He equated it to my taking a giant crap in the middle of their living room. I cried, of course. I felt disrespected and hurt.

Then my husband gave me the cold shoulder for two days. We talked about it yesterday, and he said he did not want me to "martyr" myself for a cause. He says family is more important than causes. What if one of the causes I espouse includes being treated with respect, even if my opinions are not the same as other people's opinions? What if one of my causes is having the son I gave birth to 36 years ago treat me as well as he treats his super-religious mother-in-law? I'd be very willing to bet that he has never talked to Cynthia the way he talked to me. He bitches and gripes about her bible-thumping constantly, but his wife would have his hide if he complained to his mother-in-law about her offensive efforts to guilt them into being religious.

My son even had the audacity to cite Pascal's Wager. That has been so discounted, but would he listen to me as I tried to explain that? No. Here's what the wager is: If there is a god and a heaven and a hell, then the religious person has made the right choice, and the atheist has not. The atheist will burn in hell. If there is no god, no heaven, no hell, then no one wins or loses, so why not side with the believers? This old saw gets trotted out all the time, and it ignores the tremendous harm done by religion. Think of all the money and time spent? Look at all the hovels of the poor that cluster at the feet of the giant churches. Look at the expensive suits and cars of the evangelists. I read something the other day that explained the waste: "More good is accomplished by two hands working than by a thousand hands folded in prayer."

And don't even get me started on the harm done by missionary work. This photo explains my feelings:

Anyway, I came back from the trip feeling even angrier and more hurt than I so often feel by the general crap produced and crammed down the throats of all, whether they like it or not. I know better than to try to discuss it with my husband or either son. It's clear how they feel. Harmony within the family means they can talk all the want about whatever they want to talk about, but I have to shut up and be silent.