I did it again

Once again I have angered and alienated my "back home" relatives. Sigh. I keep forgetting that they simply are too uneducated to understand analogy and comparison. They take everything literally (which is probably why they take the Bible literally--they don't "get" parable). My niece E had posted something about how it seemed like working people had to work harder in order to get ahead, while nonworking people just had everything handed to them. I posted a reminder that she herself was a non-working person who had married a man who was technically just handing everything to her, so it was sort of hypocritical for her to criticize others. Of course she got angry, so I tried to explain that people who weren't "workers" weren't always to blame for their lack of a job. By then her mother--one of the most dishonest people I've ever known, a woman who used to steal toilet paper from the school she attended and who once stole and cashed her nephew's income-tax refund--had chimed in, and then E's husband (a "good ole boy" who thinks he's shit on a stick because he drives a fancy pickup truck) chimed in, and then E's aunt (her mother's sister) had to add her opinion, which was that I was a blankety-blank know-it-all who needed to be told off. I messaged her and told her to mind her own business. I don't think I've ever even met the woman, but given what I've heard about her (from her niece and her sister), she is not a cut above any of the rest of her family, and in fact, she's probably one of the least admirable.

I put my Blackberry away and ignored all the buzzes and dings that announced emails and texts. This morning the battery was dead from all the activity. I still haven't read any of the stuff, mainly because I'm just tired of all the crap. My husband has agreed that after his mother is gone (and I love her and hope she lives another 20 years), we won't bother returning to Louisiana. There is very little left there for us. He grows increasingly irritated with his brothers and their heads-up-their-asses politics, as do I. As for my family, I've decided that I must be a changeling. I cannot imagine how I am even part of the same species as some of my relatives.

I used to think that "E" had potential, but I should have known that her environment would be the winner. She started screwing around (literally) and skipping school. Then she dropped out, got pregnant, and got married (at age 17), in that order. She'll be 18 on Monday, with a baby due any day. About the only time I hear from her is when she wants a gift. I suddenly start getting "I love you, Aunt Sharon" messages as birthdays and holidays grow near.

Unless the rest of the world disappeared in a devastating catastrophe, I would not move back to LaSalle Parish. I'm not sure I'd even return to Louisiana. As much as I complain about the frozen tundra here in Michigan, and I'll admit there is more than a hefty dose of conservative/religious idiocy here, I at least don't have to deal with my relatives.

There is this bumpersticker that says that common people believe in religion, wise people do not, and powerful people use religion to control common people. Sad but true. After I told "E" that she was "judging" and that she should not judge people who didn't work (let he who is without sin cast the first stone), she started whining about what a Christian she is, yada yada. It's all about her. She's always been self-centered and narcissistic, and though I doubt I'll ever find out, I'll predict her future now: she will give birth (probably through C-section, like her mother, though the girl looks easily capable of having hips wide enough to deliver a ten-pounder). She will bottlefeed, not because she can't breastfeed, but so that she can leave the baby at will, with whoever will take the tyke for a few hours or days. She will find herself jealous of all the attention that the new baby gets (she's used to being the direct center of everyone's world, after all), and when that little girl starts growing into a teenager, with beauty of her own, and "E" (entering her 30s) starts losing her beauty, she'll be super-jealous and start to treat the girl as if she is her worst enemy. I have no doubt at all that E will be as bad a mother as her own has been, if not worse.

I don't know why I think I can somehow change any of them. They simply cannot see beyond their own assholes. Never living anywhere else, never being exposed to new ideas or different cultures--they can't be more than they are. Or can they? I got away. I managed to outgrow the prejudices and narrow-minded attitudes prevalent in the area. From a very early age, I realized that the only way to escape from LaSalle Parish was to get an education, and what's more, I knew that the only way to survive was to get out of LaSalle Parish. Even now, when we return for a visit, I feel as if I'm driving down a tunnel into despair and ignorance.

Time to drag myself up out of this morass into a more positive attitude. We're going to see Cirque de Soleil this afternoon. It's exactly what I need to lift my spirits and help me get recentered.