My younger son will be packing up his van and heading, alone, to California (Sacramento) this coming week. I don't think it's a good idea. The van is old, the windows don't move up and down very well, and the windshield sprayer doesn't work. And, of course, my son has paranoid schizophrenia. However, he feels that he needs to explore some options, and one of those options is to live in California with friends-of-friends. We thought that he'd be living with people he has known for some time, but that won't be the case. Sigh. He learned nothing from his ill-conceived and nearly disastrous trip to live with a girl he knew (barely) in Biloxi and New Orleans (pre-Katrina) back in 2001, but apparently his memory is too short to recall how he wound up moving from one drug house to another with this girl.
I worry so much about him. The photo today is one I stole from his Facebook page and it's one he took of himself. Maybe it's because people never look sane when they are squinting into the sun and taking photos of themselves, but he doesn't look quite right in this photo. What if people take advantage of him? My husband and I have talked at length about our greatest fear: that he'll fall into one of those holes that the mentally ill seem to fall into and then disappear from our lives, only to reappear (if he ever reappears) as a crime victim or someone who commits a crime. Still, he wants to give his brother and sister-in-law some space, and I understand that. I just wish he would come here. It's so beautiful here in the summer. I would love to have a chance to get to know him. I feel as if we've lost our last chance to reclaim our son and to show him how much we love him.
On another topic, one that isn't any more cheerful, several people died in the tornadoes that sprang up across the Deep South yesterday. Tragedy everywhere. April is the cruelest month.
No comments:
Post a Comment