Last Day of April

It's the last day of April, and my husband will be returning home tonight from his visit with his mother in Louisiana. He helped with a lot of the chores that, for some reason, neither of his two brothers can or will do. He cleaned her gutters (at least she lives in a one-level ranch), he cleaned out a storage shed (one brother helped with that), and he did various other tasks. While there, he also planned to help her learn more about using her computer.

I've been busy grading papers. It's strange, but I actually enjoy grading papers when I finally get organized properly to do it. It's wonderful to interact with other minds, to feel a part of the flow of human life, of youth, of idealism. I wish I didn't have to "grade" them, but face it, that's part of the job. One of the things that portfolio grading had going for it was that we could comment on work without putting a grade on it.

Monday night I finally broke down and called my younger sister. She was in a reasonably good mood, sounded good, acted like she enjoyed talking to me. Every now and then, I have to remind myself what it is that I do love about her and enjoy. I just wish that feeling didn't get destroyed every time I visit her in her home. She was telling me that her daughter was having heart pain (she has to take heart meds after her nearly fatal bout with West Nile virus last summer), so she'll be bringing her to the doctor soon. In spite of what happened last year, her daughter will again be going to summer camp for special needs children. (It was at camp that she got sick.)

I still haven't told any of my own relatives (except my sons, of course) that I got the tenure-track job here. My husband finally told his folks, and his mother did ask whether that meant that we wouldn't we coming back down to live. He assured her that we wouldn't give up hope, but he and I have more or less decided to work here until we retire and then move to Missouri, which is where we hope our sons and wives will still be living. Older Son will be staying with Younger Son for about six weeks while he takes a Missouri bar course. He'll take the bar toward the end of July, and then results will arrive in September. He's hoping to get a law position in Missouri, which is where his wife is from originally.

I talked with Younger Son for 45 minutes last evening. He actually called here. Usually we have to play phone tag for a few days before he calls, and my husband or I nearly always initiate contact. He just said, "I hadn't heard from anyone in a while, so I thought I'd call." He was not very happy with his wife at the moment (remember my dream?). I think he thinks she's a hypochondriac. He did mention that he was trying talk therapy as opposed to meds, that he'd given up on the doctor who never wanted to talk, just write out a new prescription. When I think of all the years that we did everything we could to get that boy to talk to us, to no avail, and now he's paying someone to listen to him talk--well, irony ain't even close to what it is.

More to do. Papers to grade, sheets to wash, etcetera blah blah. I have to do something to show my husband I missed him, right? I did miss him, but not like I used to. The older I get, the more I rather enjoy those evenings of watching whatever I want to watch on tv, or, if I happen not to want to watch tv, I can listen to music or read. I need to assert my preferences more with him. It's just that he has such a strong personality and acts so affronted if I have other interests. It's emotional blackmail, of course, and I'm sure it would shock him if he knew that I was really rather tired of playing that game. He's not aware that he does it, but repeatedly, if I suggest that maybe we could do something besides watch tv, he'll jump up and say, "Well, I have work I could be doing anyway!" and rush off upstairs to turn on his office tv and either work (sometimes) or surf the internet. He considers watching tv together to be interactive time (it's not), but he doesn't consider listening to music or reading to be interactive time. I enjoy playing Scrabble, but we don't do that, either. Sigh. I do wish we had more friends and relatives that we could have visit us. (Hey, out there! I need visitors! Michigan is beautiful in the summer--all two weeks of it!)

Just a quick note about weather: We got down to 26 degrees last night, tying a record from 1971. But we didn't get any snow. I haven't checked to see if my plants outside were killed (I couldn't have done anything to stop it), but the tiny new leaves on the tree I can see from the window are looking shrivelled and droopy. This may be it for the cold weather; I'd adore to have a nice long spring and summer, but hey, it won't happen. I'll blink twice, and the leaves will be turning orange, and my long drive to school will start back again. I've figured it up--with the current gas prices at nearly $4.00 a gallon, I'm spending about $15 per trip. Wish I'd gotten a Prius instead of an Avalon. Hindsight is 20-20. S.